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Looking Back
Husband and Wife Team up As Career Co-Pastors |
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By Ralph and Tonya Shupe,
Retired Oklahoma City, Oklahoma |
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Over the one hundred and thirty-seven year history of the Church of God Reformation Movement, Pastoral Ministry has been conducted by both men and women. The greater number of women ministers served in the early days of the Movement. Unless there is data that we are unaware of at this time, the actual number of ordained husband and wife teams over the years is not known. In considering those who are ordained couples serving the church, it is important to note that many un-ordained spouses have contributed greatly to the work of ministry in many different capacities.
The acceptance of women in ministry and ministry teams varies within and outside the Movement. I have been asked questions such as: “Why wasn’t being a pastor’s wife good enough?” “Why are you trying to usurp your husband?” “Why should you be paid a salary?” “How does it affect your marriage?” “Who has what responsibilities?” “How does your congregation feel about having both of you as pastors?” Some even questioned women in Pastoral roles.
Both of us knew early in life that God was calling us into the ministry.
I at the age of six was preaching to my father’s cattle in the barn. I not only preached the message, I led the singing, prayed the prayer, and gave a stirring altar call! I’ve wondered if I had not shelved that leading and responded to the Lord’s call to preach and pastor earlier in life, before I met Ralph, if people would have accepted my ministry easier.
I do not remember preaching to the cows, but I knew the Lord’s calling was on me very early in life; however, full surrender did not come until I was twenty-one.
I will never forget the moment in the spring of 1986 when I was sitting in a Bible conference led by a dear lady pastor. The study that day had nothing to do with women in ministry, but God began to deal with me so strongly about what He wanted me to do. I tried to argue with Him that I surely didn’t need to enter fulltime career ministry and that after all I was a dedicated Pastor’s wife and mother of two precious little girls. The voice inside of me became more and more pronounced so I fasted for several weeks before telling Ralph what God was seeking to do in my life. When I told him, his response was that he had always known God had called me to preach but added, “I just don’t think anyone will listen to you.” We have had many laughs about that statement ever since then. When I told my parents of my decision, they also responded that they had known for years that this was God’s direction for my life.
After much prayer we were both convinced this was the Lord’s will and I began the ordination process. We were in St. Louis, Missouri, at the time so I enrolled in Missouri Baptist College to further my education. I threw myself into ministry more than ever before and accepted opportunities to preach anytime and anywhere. In the spring of 1989 I was ordained on a Friday night during the Missouri State Ministers Meeting with Dr. Arlo Newell preaching my ordination message. I graduated from Missouri Baptist College the next day. Though there was some opposition to a co-pastor position, the dear congregation at the Southside Church of God put me on staff. Sister Lilly McCutcheon came and preached my installation service as well as giving me some much needed advice and encouragement.
Along the way there have been those who helped make the rough places smoother and the crooked places straighter. Both of us grew up in the Movement and were exposed early on to husband and wife pastoral teams.
I am blessed to have had several aunts, uncles and cousins in the ministry. My Uncle Grady and Aunt Margret Hogue were both ordained ministers and pastored for over seventy years. They were such role models for what co-pastoring should look like. I can’t list them all, but there were many co-workers in the Movement, such as Sister McCutcheon, Brother Newell, along with Frank and Judy Curtis who were wonderful supporters of our ministry.
I (Ralph) grew up in Southwest Virginia where Brother Forrest and Sister Thelda Shaffer, both ordained minister in the Church of God, pastored separate congregations on two different occasions.
We both agree that co-pastoring in West Virginia was made much easier due to the fact that so many women ministers had paved the way before us. We are so grateful for the acceptance from the precious flock at the Jones Avenue Church of God in Oak Hill, West Virginia where we spent the bulk of our ministry. It was there that another gift of God’s grace to help us came in the person of Sister Pat Franklin. Sister Pat was put on staff shortly after we arrived and remained so throughout our ministry there. She not only took on the role of children and youth minister she also ministered to the seniors (Golden Agers) and filled in wherever needed. She was often our pastor offering invaluable counsel and support. In both congregations where we served together, we were blessed to have secretaries and key lay ministers who helped carry the load assisting in everything from babysitting to other ministry related needs. They were and still are truly “Family.”
Co-pastoring requires much prayer and a lot of God’s grace. We didn’t know it all when we first started and didn’t know it all when we retired from fulltime Pastoral Ministry, but came to a better understanding over the years as the Holy Spirit shaped our lives and ministry. We learned to become comfortable with who was “best at what” and if the situation called for a switch in our roles we did it.
For the first several years I preached most of the Sunday morning services. I preached most of the Sunday evening services. There were certain times when we reversed preaching assignments depending of the situation and occasion. Hospital and home visitation was handled according to need. At times we went together and at times we went alone. If someone needed a twenty minute hospital visit or one of us to sit with the family during a short surgery, I recognized that I was more suited for that need. If the situation called for long anxiety filled hours with an individual or family, I usually took that responsibility. If the call came during the night we handled it according to the situation.
It was interesting to note that some families had a preference as to who took the major role in a loved one’s funeral, baby dedication and/or wedding. We knew our abilities and were never threatened by the role we each were called to engage in. We also learned that God’s gift of laughter and a merry heart was good medicine for the soul. We would hate to think what our lives and ministry would have been like without it.
I would say that Tonya is the more effective teacher.
I would say that Ralph is the more effective preacher, though some who have been a part of my evangelistic ministry at multiple revivals, campmeetings, conferences, etc. may question that fact.
The best way to explain this is to quote someone else’s observation of our ministry, “Tonya is the ‘race horse’ who can take on special assignments and do them well.” “Ralph is the ‘work horse’ that stays with the task day after day working towards the harvest.” Both of us would say that the hours spent in prayer and preparation to equip us to shepherd God’s sheep and proclaim His word has enabled us to engage in such ministries.
In the latter years of our ministry in Oak Hill, in order to give Ralph more time to study I wore many different hats. I coordinated and took on 90% of the church ministries. I planned the music and worship services along with other special services and events throughout the year. I was the Minister of Education and did the majority of counseling. Because these responsibilities were more of what was called for at this point in our ministry, I stepped back from preaching on Sunday evenings and took on the role of teaching a young adult Sunday school class and the main Bible Study on Wednesday evening.
The forty plus years of ministry, twenty-eight of them as co-pastors, were both rewarding and challenging. There is no question that one of the key elements in successful ministry, be it as co-pastors where both are ordained ministers, or where just one is ordained, are the two people that God has made one through marriage. We both agree that God knew who we were and what it would take to work together in ministry and thus called us to that end.
A Pioneer Church of God Husband/Wife Ministerial Team: Herbert and Minnie Riggle
I am speaking conservatively when I say that the success of my ministry thus far has depended much upon my wife. Being of an impulsive disposition, I should have made many sad blunders had she not balanced me by her wise counsel and warnings. More than once I made mistakes because I failed to heed her advice.
--H.M. Riggle, Pioneer Evangelism 99-100
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