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What Is the Truth About Marriage?
Married couples are healthier--physically and mentally--and they live longer, enjoy a (and each other). This has been shown consistently over decades, but it is rarely mentioned in the popular debate on the family . . . . Marriage truly makes a difference in the lives of men and women."[3] This finding was corroborated by research done at the University of Massachusetts, which concluded: "One of the most consistent observations in health research is that the married enjoy better health than those of other [relational] statuses.”[4] Regardless of what anyone might tell you, marriage is beneficial to both the man and woman.
In study after study it has been found that alcoholism is less likely among the married, that suicide is less likely, that you are apt to live longer if you are married, that you are happier, you are less likely to miss work, that you handle stress better and that the married have a sense of better general well-being. One study concluded, "Perhaps the most consistent finding concerning the state of marriage is its association with enhanced positive well-being. This finding was consistent with both males and females, but the outcomes proved slightly stronger for women than men.”[5]
The truth of the matter is that marriage matters for children. The data that has been collected reveals "children from one-parent families are about twice as likely to drop out of school as children from two-parent families.”[6] The same writer went on to say that the family status not only affects whether young people will stay in school, but impacts how they perform in school, and whether they will attend college.
Another problem is that the probability of a girl be- coming a teen mother increases significantly when her father is not around.[7] The presence of a father in the home has great impact upon the way a young woman sees herself. This is not to say that a father's presence is a sure means to prevent pregnancy, but it does have a great impact on that issue. The non-presence of a father in the home also has a direct impact upon the violent behavior of young men. The father gives a role model to the boy and helps him grow up understanding what it means to be a man. If the father is not there, he is much more likely to attempt to prove his manhood through violent behavior. The thought that divorce is the best way to handle difficulty in the marriage is absolutely false. One study about divorce and its impact on families revealed, "A large number of these children spoke regrettably of their emotional and economic poverty, but wistfully about the years when their family was intact. Many of these children continued to cling to the hopeless idea of parental reconciliation, even ten years after the divorce.”[8] It is a false notion that adults or children will get over the fallout from a divorce in a month or two. The damage is immeasurable and will last for years! Do not think that you are solving any of your problems by divorcing; you are merely adding an entirely new layer of problems. Those problems will not be short term, but they will last for years and mark all those involved! Divorce will also affect your spiritual life! You will feel as if the church body is looking at you differently, and it may be true, or it just may be that you are overly-sensitive to your hurt. You will think that it will be easier for you to leave church than to stay put. You will find yourself pulling away from Christ because you will believe that He has not done in your life what you feel that He should. If you are not careful, you will find yourself shipwrecked in your faith. That might transfer to your children. They will point to the fact that you attended church and it did not help you to stay together. They may become one of those young people who believe that church is nothing more than a farce.
As we can readily see, the truth about marriage does matter. Marriage is a benefit to the individual, the family, and to society. Your children will benefit from your getting married and staying married. You will benefit from it and so will your spouse. This what God reveals to us when He states in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, “The two are better than the one, in that they have a good reward by their labour. For if they fall, the one raiseth up his companion, but woe to the one who falleth and there is not a second to raise him up! Also, if two lie down, then they have heat, but how hath one heat? And if the one strengthen himself, the two stand against him; and the threefold cord is not hastily broken” (Young’s Literal Translation).
[1] Glenn T. Stanton, Why Marriage Matters: Reasons to Believe in Marriage in a Postmodern Society (Colorado Springs: Pinon Press, 1997) 123. [2] Stanton 85. [3] Stanton 73. [4] Stanton 73. [5] Stanton 90. [6] Stanton 105. [7] Stanton 114 [8] Stanton 128.
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G. K. Chesterton, a Christian writer of the past said, "This triangle of truism, of father, mother and child, cannot be destroyed; it can only destroy those civilizations that disregard it."[1] We live in a time when many have attempted to debunk the thought of marriage. Gloria Steinem once quipped that "a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle . . . ." Data, however, contrary to the sincere intentions of these feminist leaders, show that married women are safer and do enjoy better mental health than their unmarried counter-parts. Fish may not need a bicycle, but the truth is that men, women and children gain great benefit from each other through marriage. One author stated, "One of the most consistent finds is that men and women do markedly better in all measures of specific well-being when they are married compared to any of their unmarried counterparts.”[2] |